Don't Judge A Book (part 1)

"Judge not, that you not be judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged. And with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you."

~Matthew 7:13~

The following is an excerpt from my book, "A Time To Walk: Life Lessons Learned On The Appalachian Trail." The book is about what I learned during my more than five month thru-hike. Due to its length, it will be a two part post. Enjoy!

Don't judge a book by its cover. It's an old cliche that most of us have heard. But have we really taken it to heart? Have you? Or do you allow your perception of others to influence how you treat them? Think about it. How do you look at the world around you? Do you treat everyone fairly?

When you see a homeless person on the street, what’s your first thought? Do you see him or her as a person in need of help? Do you realize that you too could be in their shoes, if things went wrong in your life? Or, do you just look at them with disgust in your eyes? Are they just lazy bums? Do you wonder why they don’t just get a job? Things to think about, huh?

What about someone who’s overweight? They couldn’t have any pride in themselves, right? I mean, why don’t they just exercise and diet? They probably don’t have the discipline you have, do they? Or what about the…?

I could go on and on, but I think you get the picture. The reality is, most of us don’t truly treat others as fairly as we should. Particularly when they’re not like us.

Most of us are prejudiced in one way or another, whether we admit it out loud or not. We tend to believe that we’re somehow better than those who are less fortunate than us, or different from us. This type of thinking is universal too.

All races, genders, religions, etc, can be subject to a certain amount of prejudice, according to where you are in the world. One important point to remember, however, is that it is a behavior—and like all behaviors, it’s something we’re taught.

If you look at little kids, you’ll notice that they accept everyone. It’s not until they are influenced by others, that they begin to hate those around them. The positive side of this is, just as we're taught negative behavior, we can also be taught positive.

Looking back on my own life, I must confess that I can rarely recall a time when I felt like I was being looked down upon by others. Sure, growing up, I was teased at times, as I’m sure everyone is. But I can never recall a time where I felt like I was being looked down upon by others, because of who or what they perceived me to be.

Why is that? Well, to be quite honest, in this country, I’ve had it made. Being a white male in America, I’ve been privileged to acceptance by most of society. I’m not saying that’s right, it’s just the way it is.

When you look like the majority, and act like the majority, then you are usually accepted by the majority. And that’s where I stood, until the trail. As a thru-hiker, for the first time, I experienced discrimination. And, I didn't like it! It didn't come from my fellow hikers, but from others in society.

It seems I no longer fit into the mold of how you're supposed to act, look, smell, etc. I guess my scraggly beard, dirty clothing, and the black patch I wore over my left eye weren't exactly people magnets. While my appearance was acceptable on the trail with other hikers, it was far from it around non-hikers. More often than not, when I was in a town, at a restaurant, in a store, etc., I'd get a distinct feeling that I wasn't welcome.

One of the first instances of this occurred in New Hampshire. I’d just arrived in the first major town I’d visited in over a month of being on the trail. I couldn’t wait to get there. I was so hungry for something other than trail food, and was really looking forward to a hot shower.

Shortly after arriving in town, my buddy Felix and I came across a Dunkin Donuts. Dunkin Donuts! Wow! I couldn’t wait to get my hands on some freshly made donuts. I could just see myself easily eating a dozen, all by my lonesome.

Then it happened. As I was getting ready to place my order, the cashier asked me a question that caught me by surprise. She said, “ It’s a little early for Halloween, isn’t it?”

Now, in all honesty, I’ll admit that comment didn’t really hurt my feelings that badly. I learned a long time ago that what others think about you is really irrelevant. The only thing that really matters is what you think of yourself. But, her flippant remark was insensitive to say the least. So I decided to make her “pay” for her comment.

I acted like I’d been devastated by her remark. I told her it had taken me over a year to build up the courage to leave my house after losing my eye. I explained how worried I’d been about what others would think about my appearance. I continued by telling her that only after being convinced by my family that the patch wasn’t that noticeable had I decided to face the public again.

By now, I could tell that I’d made her feel pretty low. But I went on and told her that I felt that she’d discriminated against me. About this time, Felix caught on to what I was doing and began trying to “console” me. At this point, the lady began apologizing like crazy. She even offered to give us our donuts for free—and we took her up on her offer.

I was harassed in a similar fashion a few other times while on the trail. Once, in a diner, a man asked me if I was supposed to be Captain Hook or something. Another time, a man pointed at me and said to his son “Look son, it’s a woods pirate.”

Well, that's it for part one of this post. Join me next time for part two. Until then...

Keep reaching,
Jay

P.S. I would love to hear from you! If you have a comment on this post, please leave it in the comments section, so I can respond to you and others can read it as well. Thanks!

Comments

[Cheryl Yantis]

Nice lesson this AM Mr. Unstoppable, thanks.

[Chick]

Great post Jay, it really got me thinking about the times that I may have judged someone without knowing them, or their circumstances! Thanks for making me more aware of this.

[Jay Platt]

Thanks Chick!

[Jay Platt]

Thanks Cheryl!