“Many of life's failures are people who did not realize
how close they were to success when they gave up.”
~ Thomas Edison ~
I've tried! Don’t you get it? I'm tired of trying because I always fail! Sound familiar? Maybe not you, but how about someone you know; your child, a friend, a family member?
The thought of trying even one more time can be an almost overwhelming emotion for someone who says they have already tried repeatedly, and didn't succeed.
Which begs the following questions. Why have their attempts never succeeded before? Is there something that sets them up for failure? What undermines their perseverance?
One thought is with their expectations. When someone starts something new, or something they know may be hard, it's vital to have manageable expectations in front of them. Leo Babauta speaks of Tossing Your Expectations Into the Ocean.
So much of a person’s frustration, anger, or stress when trying to succeed, is from expectations that aren't in alignment with the reality of their life, at a specific place and time. But that goal may be possible, after several other steps are taken, after more knowledge or life experience has been gained.
Imagine that you want to run a marathon someday, even though you have never even run a mile before. It is a good goal, but not one to try and obtain in one fell swoop!
Since running is new, you would first need to learn about the art of running. There are good habits that need to be formed and bad ones to stay away from. Join a running group; get a DVD or a book to learn about running.
You could then try running to one mailbox, and walking to the next. Going back and forth between running and walking, so you can observe the way you are doing it. After you feel good about your progress here, head for a local track.
See the steps? Running that marathon is still out there, but many steps have been brought into play to help you make it a reality. The expectations that you put in front of yourself have to be real. They have to be possible.
There is nothing demeaning when it comes to any goal, to break it down into reachable steps. Create steps that can be studied. Make corrections to the means or procedure that will help to keep you on track.
These mini steps, or breaking down of one’s goals into reality of smaller, more easily manageable steps, can be applied to just about anything that you may like to accomplish.
It's great to have that dream, but just remember to look at it carefully. Note all the needed knowledge and skills you must acquire. Gather that knowledge and skills, then move forward.
Also, look at any stumbles carefully as you most likely will have them. They should not be considered failure, but a chance to learn. You are now given a chance to move forward once more, using the knowledge gained from that stumble.
It is the perseverance that comes from the breaking down of one’s goal, the moving through the steps chosen, as well as the learning from the stumbles that makes the final goal a reality.
Well, that's it for now. Until next time...
Keep reaching,
Jay